I was thinking about the story I recalled earlier in this blog.. about the evil spirits that taunted me at night .. I thought I might go into this a bit further, as there might not be enough detail for some of you to recall a similar incident in your own youth..
I would get in my bed, and cover up and close my eyes.. and then I would feel them.. there was at least one that always used to sit on my ankles.. a mean tempered little thing.. and several around me taunting me. I don't recall any words.. just motions. They were usually threatening motions, as if they were trying to hit or strike me in some way. Or planning too. I can remember the fear I felt, it was literally paralyzing. For as they Taunted and tormented me, I would feel my body becoming immovable. I would tell myself, in my mind that I needed to move and get away from them, but not be able to. Over the course of many nights, of this repeating.. I then also become incapable of speech.. and would not even be able to cry out. Not able to move arms or legs, or cry out, I would suffer terribly each and every night. I have no idea of the time frame involved, as I didn't have a clock in my room, and would have been incapable of turning my head to see it anyway.
I shared the room with my older sister, who always seemed unaware of the tortures my little self was going through. It would continue on, until I was able to actually turn away on my side... but how many nights it took me to learn this, and do this, I have no recall.. I also know after I learned to do this and maybe something I learned at church.. but also, I don't recall. And I always wondered WHY ME? This torment, went on for several years..
What I have learned over the years, is that they tormented me to turn me away from Spirit.. from the promptings of the Still Small Voice..
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As a young woman, I can recall times when I would feel as if something bad might happen.. and then if I were driving, for instance, pull off the road till the feeling passed. Now, I can tune in to first focus on one at a time and find out if it is me, then my children, family members, dearest friends and so on.. down the line. I can also ask, if I am driving, if I need to pull off the road, and instantly understand the answer. Spirit is Right There.. at all times, to assist us with our daily lives, if we ALLOW it to be. Yes, we should do our best to live good lives, to invite the Spirit to always be with us.. and to learn that if we trust.. and believe.. Spirit is always there.
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There is an interesting path I love to travel.. it is anywhere I go.. and if I am in no hurry and wish to learn a bit more, or practice my gifts a bit more.. I just take the brightest lit road.. or path.. Literally, the one that is the brightest lit. There was once a time in a strange City, late at night, driving a U-haul truck.. and the freeway was closed for repairs.. and the detour all of a sudden became unclear, the signs were gone. I followed this "rule" and we made short work of getting around and back to the freeway.. and way ahead of the roadwork. Might sound easy, but the city was not built on a grid.. and the old side roads/streets, were curvy and followed no rhyme or reason. ~~~~~ Another time, in a different city, I could see some problem up ahead, and took the first exit I could find, and followed this Rule and followed street lights, and zig zaged, and came back onto the freeway just ahead of the accident.. with free flowing traffic. I have done this in the woods.. and found personal lessons in strange flowers I would not have seen, or strange outcroppings of rock, or stands of trees, all that I would never have seen and they all taught me a great deal.
In this, I have met trees that are Sentinels. They are grand ole trees, that stand up, watching and guarding something around them. Their spirit is valiant. And some of their teachings are almost sacred. I cannot explain it much better then this.. but go into the forest and allow yourself to be led.. I don't mean into a space where you have never been, or out to far where you can become lost..
For example: My beautiful daughter and I were visiting an old historical mountain town.. during our visit, we decided to go to the cemetery and look around. The cemetery was located just outside town, in the forest. It was a lovely cemetery, and as I began wandering around the pathways.. I felt this familiar beckoning.. I looked around expecting to see an animal or a bird.. but instead felt drawn further away from the pathway, and just into the forest itself. There I was drawn to two tall evergreen trees. Of what type, I am not sure, I have never been really good at knowing the different types. However.. I looked at them and felt their spirit speak to me, they were glad I was there and wanted me to know that they were the Sentinels of the Cemetery. I was really awed, that our Creator would think so much of the dearly departed that He would set up such a system. I listened to them with great respect, and then went to find my daughter, to bring her to the spot for her to feel and glean the beauty. It was such a beautiful experience. I have pondered on it often.
What can or could they do, you might ask?? How can they guard the cemetery?? Well they can keep the records of all that occurs there. I guess you could call it Karma..
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One evening, many years ago.. I was at home with my children, husband and another child who was a close friend of my son. We lived in the Mountains at that time.. about 15 miles out of a small town. We literally had all sorts of wildlife in our area. I was suddenly impressed to go for a walk, in the dark. I was not really wanting to do this.. as I said before, I was raised to be slightly afraid of the dark.. and I am sure it still lingered just a tad. But I grabbed up my flashlight and went unarmed, into the night. My family asked where I was going, I told them. They all asked if they could accompany me.. I paused to listen to Spirit and then said yes.. and so we all set out in the dark. Once we left our lane/driveway, we started walking on the road.. after a couple minutes, I was impressed to turn off ALL flashlights. I did so, we all did so. The other little boy asked me if I did this often.. he was just a tiny bit afraid.. I said nope first time.. and laughed..with the sheer joy of it. The other little boy laughed then too. It was a wonderful and freeing experience. I felt not one twinge of fear, nor did any of my family.. and as we walked we just listened to the night and the sounds, knowing, feeling we were safe.
It is my ideal to live By the Spirit and do all that I am asked to do. In this I know I will be safe. Sometimes it is easy, as on the walk. Other times it is difficult and I receive much derision from others. But.. it is my choice to walk this pathway. I have learned, for example, that the voice of others that are derisive, are Not of the Spirit. I have learned so many things.. all good, no matter how hard. This is how I am taught. On a large scale, by doing as I am asked. I am never Told to do anything by the Spirit.. I am always allowed to choose for myself. But after prayers, and usually a fairly instant answer.. there is not much room for disbelief..
I know that a huge part of the test is Obedience.. and for that.. well it is part of being an Empath also. If I do no know to heed the call of someone in crisis, that I feel on the "wind" or energy "wave", a cosmic "wave" or other way.. but cannot see.. how can I assist them? Part of obedience is to always listen... I am not perfect.. I make some huge mistakes.. but I am willing to relearn. Because, also an Empath, I/we do not make my/our own time table all the time.. a call can come in at any second, at any place.. and will I be listening.. paying attention? I pray I will!!
A story: This is one of my favorite examples of MY life...
Years ago, when my son was just an infant. I needed a new vacuum cleaner.. I went to the store to buy it.. found it paid for it, and went to the area to have it put in my car.. the man carried it out and put it in the van for me, and I felt and heard this message.. "Check the box"...
I did, I looked all around and it was taped shut the way it should be, so I got in the van.. again.. "Check the Box!" A little bit more insistent. I looked back at it, again checking the tape edges and found it to be secure and .. put the key in the ignition.. CHECK the BOX!! it came again.. sighing I looked back again, remembering my husbands counsel to always check for a damaged box.. Nope the box was perfect. I went home, my infant was needing to be fed and changed by the time we got home so I left it in the van and went to care for the baby.
After a while, at least an hour or more, I went back out to gather the vacuum into the house .. I picked up the box, and it almost flew out of my hands, so LIGHT it was!!!! I started to cry.. I had been warned by Spirit, 3 times, to check the box, but was so distracted I only did the barest part of looking at it. Now I was out over 400 dollars, for no one would believe me by my taking the box back!!
I went and sobbed out my pain and fear and regret in prayer.. even calling my friend to go with me... she would not, evidently, this was something I got to learn ON my own. I went back to the store, into the receiving area, told my story and was laughed at!!! I asked for the manager.. he came out, I told him my story, and braced myself for the "oh yah sure" look.. but instead, he asked what the person looked like and ordered the other people watching to get me a new vacuum, and he personally checked the box, and placed it in the van. The lesson was.. pay attention and listen. If I had been obedient to this little voice the first time, all of that horrid experience could have been avoided.
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