How do I tell you where it started.......

How do I tell you where it started...
September 30, 2011

 
Hello, what I would like to do is explain the many things that have happened to me throughout my life.. that has led me on the path I am now traveling. I see and feel things, I experience the pain of others.. I am an Empath.. and I am able to sense and feel disasters as they approach or happen.. no not all of them.. but the ones that the Spirit.. whom I also normally refer to as the Holy Ghost, warns me of, for whatever beneficial reason. It might be for myself and my own family, or other reasons. I know there are many of you out there, like me, and wondering if the things you see and sense and feel are real or you wonder if it means  you are going crazy at times..  As I look back, I can see that this started at a very early age for me. I will just give you different stories that have happened to/through/with me and allow you to see the similarities in yourself.

First let me give you a brief profile... I am Female.. I believe in a Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ and I believe in the Holy Ghost.. the Godhead,  as I know it to be, is a 3 personage package not an all in one. I don't say this to start any discussions or debates.. I simply do this so that when I use different verbiage then you might.. you can recall where it came from. I am active in my own faith and I wish to state clearly.. I honor all faiths and spiritual paths. I am not about to trample on anyone's good heart or their beliefs. I do know that Crystals and stones play a part in our spiritual pathway.. as also do herbs, animals, and all of nature. We can learn and glean from all parts of this amazing planet and learn more of our personal callings, and pathways, by doing so. 

For instance.. one of my favorite books is Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. As a woman of Cherokee heritage, I feel the need to use these gracious critters in my life.  Also I have used trees and some of the plant life, and I am learning more on the ones I feel connected with. 

Now onward and I pray this blog assists you on your spiritual journey and acknowledgment of who and what you are and what you are called to do..

When I was a little girl.. that is when I began to have a real connection with animals.. I could catch the baby kittens in the barn, they were wild.. enduring many scratches and tumbles down the hay stack.. I would give them bathes in the irrigation water,  never dropping any of them..   they never got hurt.. they would be calm in my little hands.. I was 4 years old..  Cats are very special to me and I have always had this connection with them. I can't imagine my life without a special cat in it. I love dogs, horses, and goats and ducks and geese and many of the beautiful farmyard birds.. I love them for their looks.. their intelligence and their way of knowing.  Yes, I grew up on a farm.

My dad was very good with animal husbandry..and over the years, there were many emergencies where baby animals or birds would have to spend time in our house to keep them safe, warm and alive. My sister and I would play in the clear water of our irrigation ditch.. it was allowed, most ditches are not allowed to be in.. but ours was not that deep and always clear water.. in the spring the mallards would nest near it and then take their baby ducklings into the waters to raise them there..  I don't know what got into us.. but we decided to catch us a baby duckling. We about drowned ourselves as the ducklings can dive and swim extremely fast.. but each year for about 3 years we each caught a duckling and brought it to the house and placed them in our bathtub.. man was Mom mad.. but we would raise them and then set them free in the fall..   These things were good experience for me and the respect and love I have for critters.

I used to dress one of our cats up in baby clothes..he would look like a child sitting up in my doll stroller, as I played, he was just a patient cat.  Also my dog.. he was a collie mix, I would dress him in britches with a hole for his tail.

When I was about 9 or 10, I used to sit out in the garden area of our farm.. and listen to the wind.. but it wasn't the wind I really heard. I heard chanting. Soft and almost beyond hearing.. I loved tales about Native Americans and am part Cherokee.. a small part but it seemed to call to me at times.  In the garden, it is the chanting/singing I would hear.. a beautiful tune.. always the same tune, and I would sing along with them.. until my older sister caught me and started making fun of me and threatened to tell everyone that I was crazy.

I would like to make this next passage clear......

The taunting of siblings and even parents can deafen the call of Spirit. We can turn our heads toward another direction and all but forget about the things we saw and heard as a child..  till later.. For me, I would have things that happened off and on all through my life.. so that I was never completely deafened to Spirit.. or the call of the Spirit.  Somewhere inside I felt I was different, that for me, there was a purpose that was beyond the worries of making a living and being bound down to drudgery.  My parents would listen to me if I had one of my "Feelings" and then we always found out that something had happened..  I can't tell you what they felt like back then, for I never wrote anything down.. but other then that they said I was crazy. These things didn't happen.

There was a huge tree in our yard, I would climb when I wanted to be alone.. in that tree many marvelous things happened .. dreams I would have.. and actual naps at times.... flights of fancy, my parents said and told me to forget them. But some I still remember.. One memory is of flying..  I remember the neighboring farms and how they looked from the air, as I flew over them. I would not go far, for I would become aware of the fact I was flying and instead of falling, I would get back to my tree.  Today, I assume I was having out of body experiences.. OBE's.  But part of me still wonders, was I really flying?? I also knew I was not alone during any of my flights.. I had friends that flew with me.. now I know they were spirits.. Angels/Good Spirits who were sent to keep me safe and to instruct me in ways that I was open too. Open.. meaning that I wanted to learn and believed that I knew these things.

I remember once.. when I was 14, when I felt so bad.. I didn't know what was wrong.. I went to my mother and said something bad is going to happen but I don't know where or to who...  later that afternoon, our neighbor called and said her son had been in a bad car accident and was in the hospital.. this son, and I had played together since kindergarten.  He had broken bones but was alright.. that is my first remembered experience with  a premonition. 

~~~~~

I was afraid of the dark.. yes I was told scary stories about stuff.. but I also felt and saw dark spirits at times.. and they were very oppressive.  They tried to keep me from ............. I don't know.. for there was no one to tell me how to get rid of them.. we didn't go to church.. we didn't pray.. we didn't do much of any of that sort of thing. So, at times they would come and scare the tar out of me and I was afraid to go to sleep at night.  They were mean and I could see their faces clearly.. they would hold me down.. but I don't know if it was them holding me or my fear of them being near me. But I felt it was them, but for what purpose I didn't understand. This also happened when I was little.. from about 8 till I was 10? Something like that.  
Now, of course, I know there are evil spirits around.. but they cannot win out and they cannot overpower me, unless I allow them to.  But this too, was something I learned many years later.  See, back when I was little, they had been able to overpower me a bit.. because I didn't understand, I gave them this power.. 

We started going to Church once ... I think I learned a few good tools from there.. but am not sure.. because soon after that, the bad spirits pretty much left me alone.

As an older teen and young adult, I searched around in all the Christian faiths.. thinking I had settled on one then finding after a few years it was not sticking.. searching more and more.. then finally settling on one.. I know there is a Heavenly Father and a Savior.. I also know there are Angels.. I know there are also bad spirits.. I know there are many religions on the earth.. and to all I just wish to express my deep respect for anyone devout in their faith. No matter which it is.. We all can agree on a Higher Power..  and we can get past what one person believes over another.. this blog is not about religion.. even though I felt I would make my declaration, because it is a huge part of the path I have walked, to get to where I am today. 
This blog is about.. the things happening, in the world, the feelings, the things we recognize within ourselves that show the patterns of disharmony within the earth, and how we can learn to recognize our part in this, as a way of healing. The jitters, the cold feeling, the warm feeling, the hair on the back of the neck or on the arm standing on end feeling.. there are many feelings we can experience that will warn us and tell of coming or happening events, be it personal, or worldwide or in between. Nausea is one, hyper-reactivity, feeling faint, or woozy.. they come on suddenly, seemingly without reason or warning.. when one is healthy. There are many more.

We deserve to heal, and get past fear.. we deserve to recognize that each and every soul on this planet is special, for all of us have different gifts and talents.. different makeups and different things to share. As a whole, if we all got together and worked for healing, we could save this planet and the human race.   You know, if  we could see that everything on the earth, that is good, is placed here for us to use, for good. Herbs to heal and strengthen, as well as Crystals and their amazing energies and informations. All plant life, animal life, etc.. we have  these gifts about us to assist us in developing to the best we can be.

If we can assist each other in learning to recognize the feelings we as individuals have, that show us and prepare us.. and Validate each other.. then move on with the work.

These next entries will be random, as I can think of them.. but they are all true! From some part of my life, and I will clarify what date or age I was..

October 23, 2011
I slept badly.. feeling something was amiss.. I knew the instant I was about to get out of bed, that there had been a bad earthquake somewhere in the world. I thought it.  Then later read about the 7.2 earthquake in Turkey.
~~~
Years ago, I was on a trip, with my two little children, husband and his parents. We traveled together, in two vehicles, over a few states with understanding that in one place, my husbands parents went one way, while we went to Oklahoma to visit my mother and her family.  One night, while we were still all together,  we were in our motel room.. and I could not shake the feeling that something awful was happening.. I could rule out my immediate family that was with me.. but could not shake the sick feeling.  I wandered around the room, till I got my 4 month old daughter to sleep and my 4 year old son as well.. then my husband and I went to bed. His folks were in the adjoining room. I told him my fears and he held me for a while.. then I was so restless he moved away and went to sleep. Soon, his dad came to the door, as he normally did to tell us it was time to get up..always just after daybreak... blah.... he was a controlling person..  anyway.. I looked up to hear him better and he walked away.. I didn't see him go back into their room. So I walked over to the window to use the outside lights to see my watch.. not very late.. I went back to bed, and a few minutes later he came back in the door way and the scene was repeated.. this scene repeated a total of 5 times.. I was so tired, and restless my husband got up and got in the other bed with our son.  And I paced the room.. finally it really was 4:30 A.M., and my father in law really did come to the door way to say it was time to get up.. I was so relieved.  We talked about it at breakfast and he thought I was nuts, he had not come to the door at all.  This really bothered me and I was still feeling that horrible sick feeling. 

Soon it was time for the four of us to turn south toward Oklahoma. We picked up my mother, and smaller siblings, and went on down to the grandparents in a southern Oklahoma town. One of my aunts and her husband lived close to my grandparents and another one was visiting from California.  The aunt from California had come alone, no children or husband with her.

We were there one night and the next afternoon. As my husband and children visited down the street with the aunt and uncle who lived there.. my little brother came running down; saying the aunt from California had fainted and my grandfather was having a breathing problem, with his emphysema, due to his stress over his fainted daughter. We got up there fast!! The jist of it is, her husband, in California, had been in a horrible accident several nights earlier on his way to work as a night security guard... but the young daughter, my cousin didn't call her mother till many days later when the doctor told her too.  We sat at the dinner table talking after we got the news.. my husband looking at me.. and asking if I wanted the motel receipts, as I told my story.  That was the night of his accident, the night I paced the room, and a man came to the doorway several times. My uncle had been riding a motorcycle and was hit by a car, thrown 75 feet in the air and died 5 times, in the ambulance AND hospital, before they got him stabilized. 

The Uncle and his young daughter had made a pact that nothing would deter his wife from having a great visit with her family.. therefore the young girl didn't call her mother the night it happened.  Why did my uncle come to ME that night?? I am not sure, other then I would be needed because I react with calm, in an emergency, my mother and her family do not, as a rule. They panic and over react.. ~~~
The collie dog I had growing up.. well he was the family dog.. but he and I played all the time.. after he was killed, by a crazy motorist..  I would see him.. plain as day, as if he were really there, suddenly without warning.. in all the places he loved to rest in, get out of the sun in.. and would be panting, smiling up at me, as I saw him. That was my first understanding that Animals also have spirits. We all live past this life.. he also wanted me to know he was alright.  This happened on and off for about 2 years after his death.
~~~
I know alot of you felt 911 coming.. for a few weeks before it happened, I was always tense and on edge, talking of a horrible thing, about to occur. I knew it would be really horrible..  I would feel sick at my stomach, or the hair on the back of my neck would stand up.. I slept poorly, I was always watching and driving extra carefully..  When my daughter in law called me to tell me what had just happened with the first jet.. I felt as if someone hit me full force, in the stomach with the end of a 2x4.. it literally doubled me over in pain. The pain didn't subside for a while..  I was calm though. I was about to take my children to the bus for school, but knowing there could be more attacks or a war launched in retaliation, my children then stayed home for a few days.  I felt the people that lost their lives, their panic, shock, screaming, fear, loss at not being able to hug loved ones one more time..even rage and anger...  all the emotions they would have gone through as they realized they were about to hit that building.. Then the wave and pain doubled, then tripled  as the souls from the building engaged with the souls from the jet.. Now as I am watching the rest of this tragic day unfold on TV.. the second jet hit the other tower. The souls from the second jet merged with the others and the pain doubles again, and also the souls from the second tower, and from somewhere else.. that had not been identified.. all in all the pain and screaming from them all was so overwhelming, I didn't know how I would personally live through it. The TV had to be repeatedly turned up to hear over the screaming souls.

The hours passed.. things happened most of us know nothing about.. but did happen.  I processed the pain, realized I was the receptor of those precious souls, and I was to assist them in grappling and grabbing hold of what happened to them.. I sent out messages..both mentally and by talking to them.. letting them know, for instance, that they were indeed dead... and that pain is ok to vocalize. I acknowledged their pain, and shock and all the other emotions I could identify at the moment.  I did this over and over.

I cannot explain the tears.. the constant tears over those days.. and the constant pain in my body, around my heart.. my soul area.. my guts..  I sent out message after message and I know other empaths were doing the same thing.. for after a while, the souls began to quieten.. But the signature they left on the air stream.. that circles the globe, was so intense, it still can be heard, if you listen for it.. like a smaller echo. 

All I did, I did out of instinct. No one had ever taught me to do anything at that point.. The few people I tried to explain MY pain too, were almost indignant, as I had not personally lost anyone.  So, I stopped telling anyone.
~~~~
Also.. the Tsunami.. the one that killed over 230,000 souls... I am not sure how this will go over with the public that read this... but.. MY experience with the souls of the Tsunami.. there was shock, fear, pain.. and then a relief and happiness of most of the souls..  Now alot of these souls, if not most of them, were children.. and I had two distinct feelings over their shortness of "negative feelings" to their feelings of relief even, and happiness.. first of all, that area is reported to have been one of the largest human trafficking areas in the world.. and most of them being sold were children.. and of course the second reason was their closeness and remembrance of the spirit.. so they grabbed for that. So even though their numbers were more vast then 911.. their Signature.. is much less, and softer.

~~~~

It is my personal experience that major tragedy leaves what I call a Signature.. ON the earth. ON the air waves surrounding the earth. Air currants for some, just certain locales for others.  I have been to the Alamo, several times.. Once, I felt impressed to touch the wall.. so I backed up, quietly and just held the flat of one hand to the wall.. and the battle raged.  Not as if it were going on today.. but as an echo.. a Signature. This place has huge significance to Texas.. to our history.. 
 
The same can be said of the battlefield where Custer took his last stand.. one can still hear the battle.. as a Signature.

Now I have NO intention of traveling to every place of battle on this planet, but I can  guarantee that each one has some memory of what happened! Some type of Signature. 

This is some of the pain that Mother Earth feels.. the continual battles all over her .. skin(?).  We also know that when the huge Tsunami and the greatest earthquakes, we have had in hundreds of years, happened these past few years.. they literally knocked the earth a tiny bit more off her axis.. that causes Mother Earth pain also.. tune in and you will feel it.. or hear it. I hear it.. I hear her cries.. her pain.  Soft faint, and womanly.. she has done her best to hide her pain.  To carry on for the sake of all the different life forms that need her.